Toxic people defy logic. Some are completely unaware of the negative impact they can have on those they come in contact with; Others enjoy sowing discord and inciting others.
In any case, they are a source of unnecessary complications, conflicts and, above all, stress. Dr. Bradberry explains how to avoid them and keep your distance.
How to ignore Toxic People
Stress can have a lasting negative effect on our mind. A few days are enough to affect the efficiency of neurons in the hippocampus (an area associated with thinking and memory).
If stress continues for several weeks, it can cause reversible damage to the dendrites (the tiny “arms” that allow cells to communicate with each other) of neurons.
On the other hand, stress lasting several months can permanently destroy our neurons. So it poses a terrible threat to your chances of success; When it gets out of hand, your brain and performance can suffer.
Most causes of work stress are easy to identify. If your nonprofit is looking for a grant that needs to be run, you have a duty to take care of it and you probably know how to use it.
These are the unexpected sources of stress that affect you the most.
Keep a distance
A current study conducted by the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found.
That exposure to stimuli produces intense negative emotions (similar to dealing with difficult people) in the brains of test subjects. Creates a lot of stress.
With their evil spirit, their cruelty, their victim role or their madness, uncontrollable people put you in a state of extreme stress that should be avoided at all costs.
Your ability to deal with your emotions and remain calm even under pressure is closely related to your effectiveness. Talent Smart has studied.
Over a million people and we found that 90% of the most effective people know how to manage their emotions in times of stress.
Which will help them stay calm. One of his most valuable qualities is his ability to neutralize difficult people. The most influential people have developed strategies to keep them under control.
I have listed several effective strategies for dealing with these people. Here are some of the best. You need to take an approach.
That generally allows you to control and eliminate the rest. Remember, you have more control over things than you can imagine.
Negative people and those who complain constantly are problematic because they indulge in their own difficulties instead of focusing on solutions.
They want to drag others into their self-pity to improve their self-esteem. People often feel pressured to listen to people who complain.
That they don’t want to sound deaf or rude, but you can quickly fall into these people’s negative spirals.
The only way to avoid this trap is to set a boundary and make a distance when needed. Think of it this way: If the complainant smokes.
You won’t be sitting next to him all afternoon and inhaling his smoke. You’ll back off a bit, and that’s exactly what you have to do.
A good way to do this is to ask them how they would solve their problem. You will either calm down or move on to something more creative.
Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. So why are you no longer reacting emotionally and reluctantly throwing yourself into the ground?
The more irrational a person is, the easier it will be for you to escape his trap. Stop trying to beat her at your game, keep her under control, and manage.
Your interactions as if she were a chemistry lab (or imagine you’re her psychotherapist if you prefer that analogy). Nothing forces you to react to emotional chaos; Really stay on the ground.
Be Aware of your Feelings
To maintain a good emotional distance, you need clarity. You won’t be able to stop someone from provoking you if you don’t know it’s happening.
Sometimes you find yourself in situations where you need to regroup and decide on the best course of action. This is completely normal and you shouldn’t be afraid to take the time to do it.
Think of it this way: If a problematic person walks up to you on the street and tells you it’s John Kennedy, there’s little chance that you’re trying to trick them.
When one of your coworkers falls into a similar confusion, sometimes it’s best to smile and nod. If you need to bring it back, it’s best to take the time to choose the best course of action.
Set your Limits
This is where most people let go. They feel that because they work or live with someone, they have no control over the chaos that arises from this coexistence.
Nothing is further from the truth. Once you understand how to get high with someone, you’ll find that their behavior is more predictable and easier to understand.
That way, you can rationally determine when and to what extent it is better to be tolerable. Even if you work closely with one person on a team on a project, that doesn’t mean you need to interact equally with all members of that team.
You can draw a line, but you need to do it clearly and actively. If you let things happen on their own, you can get into difficult discussions.
Deciding when and where to approach this complex personality gives you more control over the chaos around you. The only secret here is that when the person tries to cross it, he stands firm and holds the line, which is sure to happen.
Smart people know that it’s important to survive in order to have more fights, especially when the opponent is venomous.
If you are unable to control your emotions during a conflict, you risk lying in your position and throwing yourself into a fight that will seriously damage you.
Analyzing your feelings before reacting to them will help you choose your difficulties wisely and make a determination at the right time.
Focus on Solutions Rather than Problems
The objects on which you focus your attention determine your emotional state. When you focus on your problems, you create and maintain negative feelings and tension.
On the other hand, if you focus on actions aimed at improving yourself and your surroundings, you will gain a sense of self-efficacy, which in turn will generate positive emotions by reducing stress levels.
When it comes to toxic people, focusing on their tough nature makes them stronger. Stop thinking about the problems they are causing you and start thinking about what you need to do to deal with them.
By putting you in the driver’s seat, this approach will make you more efficient and reduce the stress associated with interacting with you.
People with emotional intelligence forgive easily, but do not forget. Kindness means the ability to throw in the towel over what has happened and move on.
But that doesn’t mean you’re giving the offender a second chance. Smart people do not like to be unnecessarily upset by the mistakes of others. So they quickly check it and take proactive measures so as not to suffer in future.
Stop Negative Thoughts
Sometimes we absorb the negativity of others. It’s okay to grieve about the way someone treats you, but what you say to yourself (the thoughts you feel about your feelings) can reinforce that negative tone or make you feel sad.
Can help you overcome this. A negative internal monologue is both useless and self-destructive. This will take you down emotionally, making it difficult to get out. So avoid such fights at all costs.
Take time to Sleep
I’ve been stressing this for years: Sleep is the key to improving emotional intelligence and managing stress. When you sleep.
your brain recharges its batteries, so you wake up with a clear mind. Conversely, if you don’t get enough or sleep well, self-control, attention, and memory decrease.
Take time to Sleep
Lack of sleep is enough to increase the level of stress hormones even when the anxious person is absent. A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, more creative and more active in dealing with it.
Know how to ask for help
It’s tempting, if completely ineffective, to try to go through it all on your own. However, in order not to get overwhelmed by toxic people.
You need to carefully look at the way they address them and the flaws they display. That means you’ll have to rely on your support to get the perspective you need.
Everyone knows that someone at work (or outside) is ready to help the most in difficult situations. Identify the people who play this role in your life and take the time to seek advice and help when you need it.
Something as basic as explaining the nature of a situation can make you look at the problem differently. Most of the time, others will be able to come up with a solution that turns you away because they are less involved in the situation.
Before using this system, you need to pass some tests. In most cases, these are delicate conversations with problematic people.
Fortunately, brain plasticity allows the brain to adapt and change as you exercise to develop new habits, even if you fail.
By applying these healthy, stress-relieving techniques to your relationships with troubled personalities, you will train them to deal with stress more effectively and better protect themselves from its harmful effects.
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