Today I did something scary.
Today I did something that makes me uncomfortable.
Today I did something that made me feel liberated.
Today I did something that for the benefit of my mental health.
Today I did something to ensure I am the best Mum I can be.
Today I did something that means I will have to rely on my husband a little more.
Today I resigned from my role as a Teacher of Drama at a school I’ve been at for the majority of my ten years of teaching.
Yep, I resigned…with no other teaching job to go to.
In all honesty, I’m not sure whether I will ever go back to it properly. Why? A few simple reasons:
- It’s a demanding job. Holidays or not, the level of work required to be a good/outstanding teacher is unbelievable.
- Time. In order to be a consistent, good teacher you need to put time into it. In and out of school. With a husband that works long hours and now two children. I don’t have the time, or the energy, for it.
- I want to be the best possible Mum I can be. I don’t want to look back on my children’s early years and see a mixture of juggling them and work – parents evenings, performances, meetings etc.
So what am I going to do instead? Well my loose plan is to do some supply teaching a couple of days a week and develop my face painting business (Okie Dokie Face Painting) in between. As well as keep working on my blog and the social media that comes with it.
My main priority is making the most of my children being little.
I was lucky enough to be able to drop to three days after my son was born and I’m so appreciative of that. The idea was that it would make life easier but unfortunately, I found the pressure to be much more. Meetings one evening after school and after school rehearsals the other two days meant that any planning and preparation had to be done at home. By the time I had got home, got my son to bed and had my tea, it was 8pm before I was even starting work. My brain does not work well late at night! Then I got pregnant with my daughter and everything was even more exhausting. In my post, “Hello Third Trimester” I touched upon my struggles with anxiety regarding work which seemed to develop through my pregnancy, coming to ahead when I had a panic attack in work. Baring all this in mind, I know that, although daunting, I have made the right decision.
I will miss the school that had given me so many memories and treasured friendships over the years. I will miss the kids and the relationshipsthat form with them that I won’t get in supply. I will miss the structure and routine of being at the same school. I’m giving up (for now at least) a wonderful career that I have worked really hard for.
But despite the nervous feeling in my stomach, as I begin walking down a new path in my life, I know I won’t regret it. I won’t regret it when I can be there for my son and daughter’s first day at school. I won’t regret it when I can enjoy family time instead of having to do planning or assessments. I won’t regret it when I will be able to sit in the audience for my son or daughters school nativity. I won’t regret it when I’m a lot happier and more relaxed.
I’m aware that not everyone has this option. I feel lucky and grateful that I have the support of my husband as I make this move.
My working life is uncertain and that is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
Watch this space!