Saturday was my first day riding solo with two children. In addition to this we were having a dishwasher fitted (my life is changed for the better) and the house was a dust ball, covered in kitchen equipment, tools etc so I got us all dressed and we went to the local soft play for a few hours.
There are two things I will remember from this day:
- Once again my Mum is a complete legend and came to my house to help me clean up the mess, post dishwasher fitting. Thanks to Little Miss S not wanting to be put down, she ended up pretty much doing it on her own. I’m forever thankful for her help and awesome cleaning skills.
- An incident in soft play which, even in the afternoon, is haunting me.
Let me set the scene, I’m not one of those parents that sends their child into soft play then proceeds to ignore them. I like to keep an eye on where he is and what he’s doing. I had just finished feeding his sister when I looked up and saw him playing with those huge balls with another boy, slightly older. Next thing I know, the boy is pushing my son and then puts his hand on his neck! My poor boys innocent little face as he looked very upset and shouted
“No! My mummy says to say No! It’s not nice!”
…is the thing that has been haunting me all day.
I immediately entered the soft play, newborn baby sister in arms, and, as I popped my head up to where they were, the older boy was about to kick my son. I shouted
“Oi, DO NOT kick my son!”
The boy ran off and I told my son to come with me.
My son and I had a chat afterwards. Little L is a stickler for the rules. He is caring and kind. He didn’t understand why someone wouldn’t be that way and I had to explain that some people can be unkind or nasty to others. It made me sad that his world was suddenly a little less perfect because of this one child. I praised him for saying No and attempting to stick up for himself but, if someone didn’t listen in future, he should just walk away from them and go and play on something else.
My son has had his first experience of being bullied and his facial expression as this happened to him is something that I will never forget, as much as id like to. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. I wasn’t sure whether to speak to the boys parents but, even though I know how I would react if someone told me my son had behaved in such a horrible manner, I didn’t know how they would and I wasn’t willing to possibly get into an altercation with another parent. At 16 days post partum, there was a chance I would just burst into tears on them!
It makes my heart burst with pride that our son is growing up to be such a loving little boy. However this incident today has made me think about the fact that he will be starting school full time in September and it is possible that he may experience more situations such as today. As much as I was to wrap him up and protect him, I can’t always do that so I will just have to keep encouraging him to be kind and friendly to others…and stay away from those children who aren’t brought up like that.
The whole situation did bring up an interesting topic around the dinner table the following day – what do you teach your child about fighting/sticking up for themselves? My mum always said
“Never start a fight but if someone hits you, hit them back.”
Luckily I never got into a position where I needed to use this advice but what if my son does? The thought makes me sick. My husband agrees with fighting back and while I don’t want my kids to not stick up for themselves but I also hate the thought of the alternative. I guess Im hoping that my children will keep their heads down at school and stay away or not side with those they need to, like I did.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Have you seen your child be bullied? Did you say anything? Would you have spoken to the parents? Do you have older children at school? What advice do you give them? Comment below or find and follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.