Last weigh in day I was stood in front of a lady in our Slimming World who I knew had a small baby as I’d seen her the previous week. My first thought was “Well done her for getting back to Slimming World so quickly after having a baby!” before pondering the first six months of my son’s life when I literally lived off cakes, biscuits, chips, cereal and anything else that was quick. Thus gaining another stone after having my son!
Anyways, back to my story, her phone rang and she proceeded to ask her husband/partner if he was still screaming and then instructed him to stay in the car, ending with “if she calms down, bring him in but if not we’ll just have to go home”. She sighed and ended the call. I looked at her and smiled “That sounds familiar” I said. We proceeded to chat about her three month old son who she was breastfeeding and had done nothing but feed all day. She said he suffered from colic a bit and was prone to screaming. I expressed my surprise at the colic due to her breastfeeding and she said agreed, informing me that her midwife had actually advised her to stop(?!) but she hadn’t because she loved it so much.
By the time we got to the front of the weigh in queue we’d discussed the ins and outs of breastfeeding and having a baby, how much she loved that first morning feed and how I’d suffered sore nipples and I was left thinking how great it is that (most) mothers have some kind of unwritten bond. I’d never met her before and yet we discussed the pain of breast feeding and bleeding nipples comfortably! I hoped that, by giving her that reassuring smile and telling her I’d been there,she would feel supported and realise she’s not alone. On top of that, we both have a friendly face at group now.
I really do not get those mums that look down at other mums and criticise their choices in their parenting ways. Motherhood is tough…it tests you and pushes you to your limits and no one but a mum can understand:
- The struggle each day to do your best for your son/daughter.
- The guilt you feel when you don’t feel like you are doing your best.
- The embarrassment you feel when your child is kicking off in public (like yesterday when I wouldn’t let Mini R walk into the MOT Garage)
- The emotion you feel when you look at them sleeping.
- The frustration you feel when nothing you have done all day makes them happy and they tantrum every minute of the day (that was me yesterday too)
- The happiness and pride you feel when they achieve something
- The overwhelming love you feel for them.
But there is something reassuring when another mum looks at you in your moment of frustration or embarrassment whilst out at the shops or whatever and gives that look that says “I’ve been there.” or “It’s okay, you’re handling it” and you insistently feel less self conscious. Surely we should be supportive of each other? Which is why, like in my Slimming World group, if I hear some who needs a supportive word or even just a smile, I offer it because I know it makes me feel better! I love it when I’m walking around the shops or down the street and I see another mum and we share a smile. Like a secret Mum Club because, at the end of the day, we’re all doing our best.