Secret Mum Club

SECRET MUM CLUB

Last weigh in day I was stood in front of a lady in our Slimming World who I knew had a small baby as I’d seen her the previous week. My first thought was “Well done her for getting back to Slimming World so quickly after having a baby!” before pondering the first six months of my son’s life when I literally lived off cakes, biscuits, chips, cereal and anything else that was quick. Thus gaining another stone after having my son!

Anyways, back to my story, her phone rang and she proceeded to ask her husband/partner if he was still screaming and then instructed him to stay in the car, ending with “if she calms down, bring him in but if not we’ll just have to go home”. She sighed and ended the call. I looked at her and smiled “That sounds familiar” I said. We proceeded to chat about her three month old son who she was breastfeeding and had done nothing but feed all day. She said he suffered from colic a bit and was prone to screaming. I expressed my surprise at the colic due to her breastfeeding and she said agreed, informing me that her midwife had actually advised her to stop(?!) but she hadn’t because she loved it so much.

By the time we got to the front of the weigh in queue we’d discussed the ins and outs of breastfeeding and having a baby, how much she loved that first morning feed and how I’d suffered sore nipples and I was left thinking how great it is that (most) mothers have some kind of unwritten bond. I’d never met her before and yet we discussed the pain of breast feeding and bleeding nipples comfortably! I hoped that, by giving her that reassuring smile and telling her I’d been there,she would feel supported and realise she’s not alone. On top of that, we both have a friendly face at group now.

I really do not get those mums that look down at other mums and criticise their choices in their parenting ways. Motherhood is tough…it tests you and pushes you to your limits and no one but a mum can understand:

  • The struggle each day to do your best for your son/daughter.
  • The guilt you feel when you don’t feel like you are doing your best.
  • The embarrassment you feel when your child is kicking off in public (like yesterday when I wouldn’t let Mini R walk into the MOT Garage)
  • The emotion you feel when you look at them sleeping.
  • The frustration you feel when nothing you have done all day makes them happy and they tantrum every minute of the day (that was me yesterday too)
  • The happiness and pride you feel when they achieve something
  • The overwhelming love you feel for them.

But there is something reassuring when another mum looks at you in your moment of frustration or embarrassment whilst out at the shops or whatever and gives that look that says “I’ve been there.” or “It’s okay, you’re handling it” and you insistently feel less self conscious. Surely we should be supportive of each other? Which is why, like in my Slimming World group, if I hear some who needs a supportive word or even just a smile, I offer it because I know it makes me feel better! I love it when I’m walking around the shops or down the street and I see another mum and we share a smile. Like a secret Mum Club because, at the end of the day, we’re all doing our best.

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had...and dealing with fears you didn't know existed.

Have you ever experienced a moment of Mum Club bonding? Tell me about it in the comments or contact me on Facebook or Twitter.

 

Happy Diaries

Everything Mummy

 

About Educating Roversi

30 something wife and Mum to one. Blogging about parenthood, home, days out and anything else that takes my fancy!
This entry was posted in All Posts, Motherhood, Parenting. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Secret Mum Club

  1. Robyn - The Years Are Short blog says:

    Lovely post and lovely sentiment, I’m glad the new mum in your Slimming World group has found a friend in you! My biggest support comes from friends who have babies the same age or a bit older than mine, who can give some reassurance without being ‘experts’ on everything. I haven’t really encountered or been a friendly stranger yet (I’m just wondering now if we get out enough, haha!)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The Anxious Dragon says:

    A smile and a kind world can make all the difference in the world when your having the day from hell with a toddler or baby
    Thanks for linking up with us, Tracey xx #happydiaries

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Katy says:

    I’m quite a shy person socially but having my son has forced me to come out of my shell and boosted my confidence – moments like these are lovely. I always find it reassuring when you get that look from another mum, it makes you feel less alone and that someone thinks you’re doing a good job!

    Like

    • Awww i’m glad it’s boosted your confidence. I think most mums are fairly friendly. There is the odd group of cliquey mums and i feel sorry for the people that encounter them! Thanks for commenting xxx

      Like

  4. I have experienced this so many times since having my girls it’s amazing how you can talk so easily to a stranger about personal things once you become a parent. Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars

    Like

  5. Such a lovely post and I totally agree with you, in fact “we’re all just doing our best” is one of my favourite mantras. We mums have a very special bond and it makes the whole parenting thing so much easier x

    Like

  6. Becky, Cuddle Fairy says:

    That “I’ve been there” look is the most reassuring thing in the world! When everyone else either stares or looks away, it can be so embarrassing! Happily they grow out of that supermarket embarrassment stage quickly! (in hindsight). #HappyDiaries

    Liked by 1 person

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