Yesterday I saw my friend whom I haven’t seen since BB (before baby) and I was telling him about the random, silly things that happened whilst I was in labour. He made the suggestion that I make a blog post out of it as my antics made him chuckle, so that’s what I’m doing.
Most women who have had a baby love to tell their birth story, unless they’ve had a horrendous traumatic time. Then they never want to speak of it again. I was lucky as I had a fairly straight forward birth: it was during the day, no complications and I was home four hours after I’d had him. Not too shabby at all.
However during the process of Mini R making his way into the world, many things happened that, now looking back on it all, are fairly amusing.
Firstly, my mum, bless her heart…well she’s a witterer. She stresses about things and worries (because she cares about people a lot)…totally the opposite of me (I care but I don’t worry). Despite these traits I chose her as my other birthing partner and I’m so glad I did. Her and my husband were a dream team but most of my funny anecdotes come from my mums actions on the day! For example, when we went to the car to go to the Pinderfields Hospital, I’m leaning against the car, mid contraction, while my mum is saying “Maybe I should go in my car?” My husband “Parking is expensive. Probably best to go in one car.” This continued for what seemed (to me) to be a lifetime before I exclaimed “CAN WE JUST GET IN THE CAR?!” Mum: Oh yeah! Sorry love! 😂
Once at hospital my mum and husband took it upon themselves to have a mini picnic and when I woke up from a drowsy moment, a sandwich was being passed in front of my face!
Possibly the funniest mum moment during my labour involved granola bars. I had some in my suitcase for snacking on during labour but when Mum gave me one, due to the gas and air my mouth was dry, and the bar turned into clay in my mouth. After that, my Mum started dipping them in her tea – at the time this was the BEST TASTE EVER! However, one time she dipped and I started having a contraction. My mental image to this day is of my mum stood by the bed holding a granola bar over her mug saying “But I’ve dipped! It’s going to break in my tea!” It was like a bloody Peter Kay comedy sketch! 😂
A non-mum related incident involved only me. I went to the toilet and when I came back I started to have a contraction so lent on the table that goes over the bed (it wasn’t over the bed at the time). Someone hadn’t put the lock on it…so I was sent plummeting to the ground! Luckily I caught myself before I actually fell over and used the husband for support instead! During labour I actually didn’t shout as much as I thought I would…I thought I’d be a screamer and a swearer but I was more of a hummer and a groaner! I did swear once, just before I started pushing and exclaimed “F**king hell!” to which I was immediately told off by my mother. I might have been 30 (just) and bring my own child into the world but apparently I can still me told off for swearing by my mum!
You may or not know that when your waters go, you can’t have a bath due to risk of infection. In the early stages of labour my mum suggested I had a shower. She was still at work and said that the warm water on my back would be soothing. So I took her advice and got in the shower. Ours is an over the bath one with a shower curtain. It was soothing. The only flaw was that when I had a contraction I had nothing to hold onto and ended up trying to clutch onto the tiled wall like one of those fish that go around the glass walls of a fish tank. It also meant I had wet hair which was equally annoying…I was on all fours on the bed with a towel hanging off my head. I ended up dragging it off and throwing it like some crazy animal during another contraction however there was a lovely moment that followed when my husband sat combing my wet hair for me.
Like I said at the beginning, I was quite lucky with my labour. In hospital at lunch time, baby by 4:07pm and home by 8pm in time for the England match: the World Cup was on.
Little Baby R made a great entrance on my 30th birthday and it was such a positive, if not slightly hilarious, experience that I’m actually looking forward to doing it again! Weird eh?!
(THIS POST WAS UPDATED IN JUNE 2016)