What is effective communication?
Interpersonal communication seems to be something ordinary, familiar, something that everyone knows how to do every day, when in fact it hides a much more complex structure.
What is hidden behind simple communication?
Interpersonal communication, involving several people, is based on a relationship in which the interlocutors influence each other.
Communication to humans not only has the function of transmitting information, but is fundamental because it establishes and expresses the personal identity and network of relationships in which it is immersed.
What is at stake is the definition of self: who I am, how I see myself, how I see others, and what is the bond that binds us.
This definition of relationship to oneself, to another, and through communication is continuous and reciprocal.
These reasons explain why communication is essential to generate, feed, and preserve the individual’s psychological well-being.
Through which channels do we communicate?
Communication involves language, but it does not make up for it.
It should be borne in mind that verbal communication (language, words, content) represents only 7% of communication.
If we only use the verbal level in communication, we risk that people understand only a minimal percentage of what we say.
Instead, 38% of communication passes through the para verbal channel: tone of voice, timing, rhythm, inflection, volume, pause, tempo.
Finally, 55% of communication passes through the non-verbal channel, also known as body language: it involves movements of the body, face, eyes, attitude, closeness, appearance, posture.
The gestures we make when communicating can represent: word accompaniment, emphasis, underlining;
They can be symbolic, they replace speech, to regulate turns of speech, to show attention or aloofness; Emotional, manifested anxiety, joy.
Gesture plays an important role in communication, it can represent: a reinforcement, an involuntary refusal, a source of response.
Effective communication is communication that involves all three levels and is consistent with each other.
Is there silent communication?
Silence is the absence of words, but it is a strategic method of communication, its meaning varying with the conditions of context, relationships, and culture.
This is ambiguous, as it can be a sign of an excellent relationship and an intense communication, or a bad relationship and poor communication.
We can distinguish:
Silence with reflexive function, that is, one is silent as one collects thoughts, data, elaborates and reflects thoughts;
Silence with a defensive function, that is, someone keeps quiet so as not to aggravate the relationship problem and resume the discussion at a more favorable time;
Silences that are not functional for exchanging relationships.
The latter target figures perceived as opposites, and silence is used to create feelings of guilt in the other towards them or to emphasize the inferiority of the other.
Towards effective communication
A communication is effective if the three levels (verbal, reflexive, non-verbal) are the same and if the purpose of the communication is to be in contact with the other.
To give and receive trust, to confirm, to reassure, to involve, to attract, to agree. is to receive.
Effective communication is not a strategy studied in the table, it is not valid once and for all because each individual.
Story, each experience affects the communication and therefore the relationship with the other.
The keywords for effective communication are: empathy, listening, responding and spontaneity.
This can be translated into an approach of active listening: welcoming and encouraging the other with regard to the message he sends me, giving back what comes to me, and sabotaging attitudes.
Communicating effectively means best expressing yourself, your mood, and establishing satisfying relationships that share needs, values, and goals.
So improving communication allows you to adjust to your interlocutors, listen actively, respect the rights of those in front of you, and enrich yourself internally.
Communication is the process of disseminating information.
Communicating effectively means knowing how to express oneself in every situation with any interlocutor, both verbally and non-verbally, one’s mood in a clear and consistent manner.
Communicating effectively means making sure that the message I (sender) want to communicate to another (receiver) can be understood, i.e. interference could.
z and both external (actual noise, noisy telephone lines, etc …) and internal (feelings, thoughts that interfere with the expression or understanding of the message).
That’s why it is necessary that I receive the return signals, feedback from others and that is: listening to words and looking at facial expressions, to verify whether my message has arrived or not.
The listener determines whether the communication is effective, that is, if he has understood and understands what we want to convey, not who speaks!
A “communication act” is made up of:
- Sender: The one who emits the message
- Receiver: for whom the message is intended
- Message: What do you communicate
- Channel: The medium through which one communicates
- Code: way, the language with which one communicates
- Context: “place” in which one communicates
Why develop it
Being able to express ourselves, our moods, and establish satisfying relationships requires communication in which our needs, values, and goals can be clearly shared with others.
Communicating effectively also means knowing how to listen and therefore getting to know others better about their needs and goals.
Imagine that your son tries to explain to you which girl he likes: he talks about particular brands of clothing; Use words like “truzza” or “emo”; And you get the idea how it can happen.
But despite this, when he takes her home you realize you have very different ideas of what you mean… beautiful!
Imagine what would happen if the conversation was about more complex words like “autonomy” or “security.” Pretty Girl is solid – I can at least describe her – while autonomy and security are values.
They are abstract words, they have no definite form!
If fathers and mothers believe that they have the same idea of autonomy or security for their children, and if both parents assume that they understand.
Them in the same way, it is very difficult to share important decisions. As if the right age to go son alone with friends.
How to develop it
First of all, it is necessary to try to make sure that your interlocutor understands exactly what you want to communicate in a simple and clear way.
Reason: To communicate effectively, it is very important to be clear about the goal of our communication, so always ask yourself:
There are a few ways of looking at communication, known as NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) assumptions, that are useful for effective communication, here are a few:
The meaning of my communication is the response I receive.
That is, another’s behavior is a reaction to my behavior.
What did I do because the other person behaved this way?
- It is impossible not to communicate.
- My way of looking at the world is not the real world: the map of Italy is not Italy!
- The only definite information about a person is his behavior.
- The person is not his behavior.
- Any behavior is the best possible option.
- Every behavior always has a positive intention.
- There is never failure, only reaction.
- Pick one belief a day from numbers 1 to 8 and see what happens when you try to believe this belief.
Often in everyday conversation we make the mistake of focusing on ourselves, focusing only on our expository skills and the richness of the concepts communicated.
But sometimes it is precisely the questions that are asked in terms of communication effectiveness.
Make difference. Correctly asked questions point in the right direction and allow us to connect deeply with our interlocutors.
To establish positive relationships with others, you need to know how to engage them and make them an active topic or leader of conversation.
Questions put our interlocutors in the center of attention and allow you to get valuable information. There are basically two types of questions:
Closed questions and open questions. The first are immediate and allow us to quickly get to the answer we are looking for, but they are often compulsive and annoying.
Usually they ask options: yes / no. The latter, on the other hand, are more “colloquial” and give the interlocutor the opportunity to express himself freely.
So that he really wants to communicate. They serve to break the ice and start a new conversation, but also to deepen their level of confidence with people.
In the relational area, feedback feedback (or retroactive effect) is used to confirm, modify or strengthen the negotiator’s attitude / behavior in order to improve the overall quality of communication.
Feedback is the feedback information that is sent to the issuer. The purpose of this message is to facilitate learning and expand awareness.
Feedback is used to inform the source of the message about its effect on the recipient.
Therefore, in addition to seeing and listening, we can also collect feedback to check whether what has been said is being correctly received by our interlocutors.
Because the result of effective communication is exactly what the other has understood. You need to check that your message reached its destination without any interference or misinterpretation.
Every day, for personal and professional reasons, we inevitably come into contact with many people. Difficult partners, neurotic bosses, sensitive colleagues, apathetic colleagues, suspicious customers, etc.
If we don’t know how to communicate effectively with them, our days will be full of problems, disappointments, and conflict.
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